Winter Solstice – the shortest day of the year and deepest, darkest night.
The darkness reigns supreme before dawn brings new light to every living thing.
The dark triumphs over the light, but only to return back to light.
In spiritual sense it is the ideal time for reflection, introspection and intention setting.
So, take a moment and embrace your inner self,
reflect on who you are and where you’d like to go.
Set powerful intensions and watch your dreams come true.
Something we all seem to struggle with these days is the ability to disconnect from social media.
Social media is great in many ways, but it often limits our ability to live our own lives.
We get caught up comparing ourselves to others.
We ignore reality for that sweet virtual life.
If you want to get your authentic life back embrace nature.
I get my best connectivity there.
Have you ever felt that you cannot let loose or be authentically in the moment for fear people will judge you because of your career, status, or gender?Have you ever felt like the proverbial duck on the water; all calm and collected on the surface but underneath paddling like crazy as if this facade of calmness is what you think society expects of you?Have you ever felt that you cannot ‘break down’ as others see you as strong and therefore they assume that you will always be fine and figure things out on your own? I have pondered and struggled with all of these self-imposed thoughts and restrictions as well, and it SUCKS!
So, It’s time to STOP:
Worrying About What Others Think
Saying You Aren’t Good Enough
Feeling Guilty for Success
Feeling Anxious
Negative Self-Talk
Saying Sorry so Much
And, It’s time to START…
Setting Goals that Scare You
Embracing the Things You Love
Being Unapologetically Yourself
Building a Support System that Doesn’t Hold You Back
Focusing on Your Needs
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Taking Chances
It’s time to take our power back, ladies! Let’s Go!
In a pre-pandemic world when I used to travel extensively for work and speak in front of hundreds of women, I would often be asked these questions:
How do you do it?
How can you be a high-achieving executive…travel the world so often (hell, sometimes I was in 3 different countries in 1 month) and still manage to be a great mom as well?
Sometimes I wonder about that myself…how did I do it?
Was it easy? No.
Was it possible? Yes!
Was it worth it? Absolutely!
I must add…
that when I first started traveling I became a primary caregiver to both of my children ( both under 10 yrs old) and my husband and I were separated, so I had several ‘legitimate excuses’ and many reasonable anchors to prevent me from what I believed I was called to do.
Instead, I DECIDED internally and with conviction that I will make it work and I will succeed! (There is such power in decision making).
I knew that if I wanted to create the beautiful life that I am enjoying right now I needed to change the way I was going about my choices. I had to change.
So how did I do it?
When I wasn’t traveling I was PRESENT with my kids. This was hard at first but with some intention I mastered it.When I was with my kids, my phone was off or in another room; my mind was constantly focused just on them and on the fun tasks we were doing.You see, I wasn’t multitasking, I was with them with my mind, body and soul for each moment.
I replaced QUANTITY with QUALITY. Both my kids and I would then look forward greatly to when I was back home; we would anticipate all the amazing things we would do and play.
Oh, and we did so many fun things 
In hindsight, they were getting more of me this way then if I was home with them every night, focusing on multiple things of life at once.
So in closing, I invite you to;
think of what kind of life you truly desire
decide that this is what you will have and
witness the miracles that will happen around you in alignment of your energy, career and personal commitments.
1)“The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.”
2)“Your past does not equal your future.”
3)“Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards.”
Like it or not time moves forward- how you used it is up to you.
It’s not always easy, but with some effort it is possible to live your best life.
Achieving what you want is never an overnight thing; it takes time and perseverance but when you do the work and when you look at how far you’ve come and the person that you’ve become in the process, it is so worth it. Trust me, I know as I’ve been here many times as a professional juggling a multitude of work and aspirational goals.
Please allow me to explain what my 5 go to steps are to punch through these difficult and cumbersome cycles.
Basic Human Needs
Fulfilment of your basic human needs; certainty, significance, variety, love/connection, growth and contribution are critical in order to live a happy life. These are the deepest needs of all humans, and they drive everything we do. When these basic needs aren’t fulfilled, we get stuck in harmful cycles like living in constant fear, stuck in unfulfilled careers, toxic relationships, creating destructive behaviours, addictions and finally health challenges.
Limiting Beliefs And Statements
‘I can’t do this’, ‘I’ll never be good enough for my family or friends’. ‘I am too old or too young’. ‘I don’t have enough time or money’. ‘I am not lovable’. ‘I am not worthy’. ‘I cannot be my real self, or I will be judged’…..
We are our own worst enemy. With these destructive statements of self-doubt-usually untrue,-we create limitations for ourselves and then believe in them, even when they don’t make sense or seem true to who we really want to be.
The steps to challenge limiting beliefs and statements are;
Identify your limiting beliefs and recognise that they are just beliefs and NOT facts.
Recognize the potentially damaging consequences and ask yourself what it is ‘costing’ you to hold on to that belief/beliefs?
Adopt a new belief and put it into practice.
Your “WHY”
Define your deepest desires, your purpose in life – your ‘why’. It can be your legacy, showing your kids how to live by example, helping animals or supporting abused, single moms… Whatever sets your soul on fire…
Ask yourself these questions:
How would achieving this make me feel?
What would it mean to me to get what I want?
How would this change my life and the life of my loved ones?
You ‘Why’ takes YOU out of the equation and allows you to get out of your own way for the greater good.
Knowing your ‘why’ keeps you laser-focused and helps you get through the rough times.
Goal setting
Most people don’t actually know what they want! They know what they don’t want, and they think and talk about it over and over and that exactly what they attract.
They don’t take the time to look inward and really decide how they want their lives, their relationships, their careers to be.
They are the ones who usually say, ‘it’s easier for so and so as they were born into money’, ‘they were just lucky and landed this sweet job’, ‘they were at the right place at the right time to meet the love of their lives’…. I argue that luck has nothing to do with it but setting your intention does.
You cannot have something if you don’t even know what it is.
So, set big, bold goals that scare you.
Make a decision that you will go after them no matter what (AND don’t worry about the how(s)).
Trust the all the right people, opportunity, situations are going to show up at the right moment.
Just tirelessly and trustfully hold the vision.
Healthy Habits
Don’t let your circumstances, emotions and events outside your control dictate your mindset. Your mindset is a compass to what you want in life.
When you adapt healthy, empowering mindset you will control your outcomes.
One of the most powerful, empowering habits that you can develop is gratitude.
Consistently practice gratitude for the huge things and the littlest things and watch how your world changes.
I hope you find these techniques as beneficial as I do and drop a comment below if you have some other powerful exercises to share.
Bent Not Broken 