Starve Your Distractions, But Feed Your Focus

Discovering there is never enough hours in the day for you?

Have you always found yourself behind in time or task?

Does everything seem to be a priority?  

Well, I may have a solution for you in the form of a different perspective.

You see, as a mom; wife; author and coach, my work requires travel all over the world. The tried and true way for me to juggle all of this is to employ the key perspective called Single-tasking.

It is more powerful than I had originally thought so hear me out here. Most of us discover when we are multi-tasking that we are in an illusion we’re getting a lot done.

As a matter of fact, multi-tasking can be defined as the art of messing things up actually lol.

Multi-tasking is never multi-tasking. It is actually the most inefficient and ineffective way of going about things that are important to us.  We, as women, pride ourselves that we can multi-task.  Maybe we can, but at what cost?  We are always living on the edge.  We are frantic at all times.  We are spreading ourselves too thin.  We are not “present” and rarely enjoy the things we are doing.

We are definitely speeding through life.  There is a better way.

When I was originally introduced to this perspective,  I resisted.  I said to the person sharing this idea with me that he did not get my life; that he did not understand me.  

Yet as I look to many successful men and women who are massively productive, I note this key observation!  It is not that they do not have a lot of things to do, it’s that they focus on one task at any given time and they see it to completion.

Here are some tips for you to employ and instead of multi-tasking your way through life, that you open your mind to Single-tasking.

1 – Block time in your calendar to focus on the tasks that requires more time.

2 – When focusing on one task, turn your cell phone and other distractions off.  You can do it!!!

3 – Do work in focused bursts.  Turn everything off for 15 minutes and do the task and then reward yourself with a break for 15 minutes-do it!

Apply these and become a Superwoman. 

When people ask you how do you do it, tell them you found this particular Super Power.  This Super Power is the act and action of Single-Tasking!

I pray that you are strong and that you are living in your Power, Passion & Purpose.

 

 

 

How to feel fulfilled – Personally & Professionally

“Share your story with someone.You never know how one sentence of your life story could inspire someone to write their own” ~ Demi Lovato

Vacation time 😊

I write these words today from a picturesque little island called Gili Air located off the coast of Bali in Indonesia. My kids, my best friend and her family are with me and we are having such an amazing quality time together.  I feel so blessed to share this vacation with them and reinvigorating our spirits together.

This idyllic vacation away is also one of many reasons I love to travel with my kids:  “Through travel, the world becomes their classroom”.

I get such a high seeing them experience the world outside of the comfort of the familiar.

This is the reason why I love and encourage all women to seek out how to become their own entrepreneurs. It allows them the benefit and freedom to travel the world with their kids, if that what they desire from life.

The world that we live in now allows each one of us an opportunity to have access to a global community.  Exposing yourself to the world can seem daunting but it is the most wonderful experience.

In the karma way, the more you seek to help, the more you are helped.  You cannot help others without growing yourself.  It is a cure for snapping out of your head and serving people with your story.

Your challenges, and struggles today and the triumphs of tomorrow are stories of inspiration for others to learn and benefit from.

Based on my conversations with hundreds of entrepreneurs all over the world,  what I have found is that they have learned and mastered their struggles to victory over time and through their stories they create opportunities for themselves to help others.

Your story is your power.  Set an example of rising above your challenges and you can show others how to do that as well.

Here are some tips on how you can start laying the foundation for your entrepreneurial launch:

1-  Learn to look at your challenges and struggles as opportunities to grow.

2 – As you go from struggles to victories (even tiny ones) document what you are doing to make that happen.

3 – Formulate your message of hope.  What do you stand for? Or what do you want to stand for?

4 – Take inventory of your strengths.

5 – Seek guidance from someone who has walked a similar path and is successful today.

6 – Share your message and keep doing it.

Doing this can allow you to become stronger, rise above your challenges and help others through your story while having a sense of fulfillment and power.

I want to hear your story.  Let me know how you are rising above your pain.  How you are becoming stronger?

I want to know you more.  Because I’ll bet you there is an authentic voice inside of you that is full of power, passion and purpose.

The most powerful obstacle to Self-Love is in the mirror

The most powerful obstacle to Self-Love is in the mirror but we often fail to see it ourselves. Isn’t this true for you?  I know it is for me as I juggle my time between career, family, travel, social engagements and the other demands of life.

Self-care inevitably falls to bottom of our daily lists.

Here’s Why:

Often, the greatest crack in the mirror of life which prevents us from having a clear image is us.

Self Worth
Frequently in childhood and traumatic relationships we learn-through dysfunctional experiences-that we are not deserving of quality time and care.
We must prioritize time and emotional resources for our own selves.  If not, this ineffective attempt to modify the world for yourself and loved ones leads to self-esteem and self-care neglect. ‘Me time’ becomes non-existent.  In turn self-care is affected when emotional exhaustion sets in.  Meanwhile ongoing stress in and of life is continually absorbed.

What To Do?
Replace the Mirror

Utilize these vital tips below on how to re-learn to love yourself.  Practice them daily to develop an honest image, focused on self-care.  You can remodel your outlook in order to stay strong for yourself.  This will allow you to see clearly and focus on your healthy future.  The mirror, mirror on the wall…is the new you!

Tip 1. Confirm Personal Value

Find a childhood photograph of yourself and see the innocence.  Ask yourself if this child deserves less than unconditional love and happiness.  Think about how you talk to yourself, inwardly.  Do you talk down to yourself?

Now question whether you would ever repeatedly state negative statements to this child.
Think on the impact and damage your words could cause if you said these harmful statements to this child.

Guess what?  This is the harmful messaging you might be feeding yourself daily. Understand now, how unfair and unloved a vulnerable child feels when hearing these words!

Make a commitment to yourself to change this destructive routine and pay close attention to the messaging of your internal dialogue.  You may be your own worst friend.

Place the photo of your young self in a very visible spot and lovingly connect with it often.

Tip 2. Question Yourself

Why is my self-care important?  What happens if I do not take care of myself?
Next, ask yourself what will happen when you do take care of yourself?

Write your answers down and place them in a visible place and look at them often.

Tip 3. Author a Self-Assessment Report

On a piece of paper do a self-assessment on your personal HEALTHY activities.  Gym time, crafts, music, favourite movies; whatever.  Then determine how much better the activities makes you feel, and how often you can get them into your daily life.

Tip 4. Develop an Action Plan

Think about all that makes you feel good and is doable in your routine.  For me, great decompression of stress exists in playtime with children or pets.

The point is to relax you, not stress you out even more.  Therefore, do not choose activities that you ‘should’ be doing but the activities that you ‘can’ be doing.  Do not plan a lengthy bath or gym time when you can only carve out 15 minutes blocks throughout your day.

Tip 5. Develop a Me-Time Calendar

Write your plan down in weekly blocks.  Ensure you rotate the activities daily.  Decide how much time you can and will give yourself daily.  Decide when you will practice self-care and pencil it down to your calendar and know this becomes LAW.  That being stated, everyone knows life gets in the way at times so have a back-up activity in case of intangible obstacles.  Decide what healthy alternative you may do if a conflict comes up that might challenge your new LAW.

Tip 6. Maintain Commitment to Yourself

Don’t sell yourself out.  Never feel guilty.  If you have trouble following through with these self-care activities or you have noticed a reluctance to follow new routines, have an accountability partner! (Someone not lenient or easily persuaded) who will ‘oversee’ and motivate you in the process.  Be selfish with your time.  Understand that your self-care is primary for you to function well.

Tip 7.  Praise Yourself

All the little self-care accomplishments, all the little victories, require celebration!  Don’t criticize yourself if one day you don’t succeed as long as you move forward and do better tomorrow.  Pat your own back at times 😉

Tip 8. Create Boundaries

First of all be aware of your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits in order to identify boundaries to someone else.  Understand what and how much you can tolerate and accept and what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed.  Then clearly mark these bold lines to everyone around you.  When someone is requesting of your time, energy or else, always check your personal engine-light and determine if you can fit them in your day.

Ask:
Do I have it to give right now?

Take a moment and observe how the idea fulfilling the request feels in your body, your mind.

Am I willing to give it right now?
Under what condition am I willing to give right now?

Remember that establishing boundaries is not being selfish, but rather honing-in your feelings and honoring them.  And they are fundamental in self-care.

‘No’ is a full sentence and does not have to be rationalized.

Tip 9.  Write a Gratitude Journal

Purchase/dedicate a journal and keep it by your bed.  Every night, write at least 5 things that you are grateful for (ideally things from that day).  Do this exercise for at least a month to ingrain the practice.  It is fact that this is another way to rewire the brain and develop greater positivity and clear perspective under any circumstances.  Including the circumstances that crack and cloud over your reflection on life.